It was a big day in Lima, Peru. President Joe Biden and Xin Jinping were in town for the APEC meeting. For those of you who are not fluent in acronyms, APEC stands for Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation. It also meant lots of businesses were closed in Lima to keep traffic to a minimum, and a chance for me to catch […]
Sleepy Joe
Bahía At Bay
“I see an eagle!” screamed one first grader. “I do, too!” screamed another. I had doubts if an American Eagle escaped to Lima, Peru, in spite of the divisive week in politics. But the week of birdwatching with the elementary students inspired me to do a bit of my own at the Paracas National Reserve, an easy safe bus ride […]
Purple: Mes Morado Month
In Lima, there are no red states or blue states. Everything is purple. Well, at least today. Since I’m too lazy to google what the purple parade and celebration is about, I’m guessing it’s not to honor Barnie the Dinosaur or the Late Great Californian Raisins. It’s Mes Morado, or the Lord of the Miracles Month (I asked someone). This […]
Whiz Kid
Sometimes I wonder if I am ever making a difference in the world. Am I just eating ceviche in Lima, or am I making a difference? Well, this week, I felt as if I was more than a consumer of fish and corrector of grammar errors (By the way, this ceviche below costs less than a specialty Starbucks drink). Well […]
I went to America for a week and all I got was a lousy concussion?
“Ginger! Ginger!” I heard my friend call. I was by my luggage ready to go to the airport, luggage that was bulging with fifty pounds of “Can’t Get This In Peru” whatnot. Chocolate covered cherries. Maple Syrup. Barrels of Costco vitamins, wash clothes, Good N Plenty, and Expo White Board Markers. Except I wasn’t standing by my luggage, I was […]
Why I Walk
Seventeen thousand four hundred steps. That’s enough to work off the calories consumed from a grilled banana. That’s also the number of steps I walk to and from ICSLima (the school where I work) and my abode in Barranco in the Smirnoff Vodka building, formally known as the Pepsi Sabor Building. How long is the walk? About fifty-five minutes each […]
A plumber and a prayer
Life in Lima can be just as ordinary as life anywhere. Sure, there’s occasional earthquakes to shake things up in Peru, buses lit on fire during a city-wide transit strike, parents of students getting kidnapped, and dogs better dressed than their owners. But the daily grind? It’s no more exciting that what you’d experience in Schaumburg. My hiking group is […]
Apu Siquay
Could this be the ancient burial ground of carnival rides?
Comfort Zone
This week, I moved out of my comfort zone. Actually, I sold it. I got the text from while I was sharpening pencils with my first graders in Lima, Peru, that someone wanted a second showing of my condo in Chicago, USA. I didn’t even know that there was a first showing. But by the time I had walked home, […]
MAC, Barranco Art on a Timer
Can you look at a piece of art for ten minutes without going bonkers?
Huaca Pucllana: Home of Captain Underpants
I really don’t care archeologists uncovered the ancestors of Sears Roebuck underwear models
Hooray for Huaraz, says the Lazy, Solo Traveler
I didn’t attempt any butt-kicking hikes in Huaraz. I just wanted to sit on what others wanted kick.
Sand
It’s funny the places you can get cell reception in the world, it being a lot more universal than clean toilets
Chicago-ing, going, gone
Was it jet lag or had everything in Wrigleyville?
I’m not just talking about the two middle-aged women whom I haven’t seen since they were young men
Beleza (Beauty)
Vincent Van Gogh It was about four AM in the morning in Madrid, me with a backpack my sister in her long- haul yoga pants. We are middle aged flowers in a city full of beautiful people, wilting like one of the still-life paintings in the Prado museum. Old ladies in dresses hobbling on cobble stone streets (not in Costco […]
Just Did It: Camino Santiago
If my feet could talk, what would they say? After taking part of the El Camino Santiago pilgrimage, my ten little piggies and not-so-little bunion would say more than pass the Epsom salts please.
Count
The Count had on a blue blazer, an ascot, his silver hair slicked back, reminding me of that guy on Fantasy Island, Mr. Roarke.
Transformation
Life repeats itself. Ten years ago, I was Madrid, Spain, waiting for a train to Alicante, my life at its lowest. My mom just died, my husband just left me in China, and my life was condensed down to one hundred pounds and a carry-on. I was in Spain to visit my nephew to make sure he was actually studying […]
Sleep with the Fishes
In Lima, Peruvian traditions make the obituaries every day.
birthday boobies (and other birds)
I never would have imagined spending my 63rd birthday looking at boobies.
Uh…not cleavage, but the Peruvian bird.
Marathon
We all have a pair of running shoes inside of us.
Top Ten Smells of Lima, Peru
If you visit Lima, Peru, you’ll be treating your schnoz to some of the best –or should I say most memorable sniffs.
Fog
Believe it or not, that’s the ocean behind me. Funny how the Pacific can disappear, but my wrinkles still show up.
Watching the Paint Dry
Living overseas is like watching paint dry in another country. A lot of same-o same-o.
Look Up
Sometimes I hate it here.
But then I look up.
Or look at birds, which is why I skipped church that day.
La Punta: Lima’s Top Tip
There is more to Lima than what meets the gullet.
Minority
There I am at this bus station, trying to stay warm before dawn when my eyes spotted the egg-shaped woman on a blanket.
Viernes Santo (Good Friday)
In her last years, my mom was convinced she was a part-time prophet of Jesus. I didn’t doubt her, except for her story about Moses having a gun.
Lima Traffic: This is how I will die.
Really God? Is this how I will go? Not eating a bad bug in a remote Asian village? Not falling off the side of a cliff in Vietnam trying to fetch my phone? But by crossing the street in Peru where a Policia is supposed to be watching?
When in Lima…Donde fueres, haz lo que vieres.
In Lima, Peru, do as the dogs do.
Cheeses Christ
There’s only one way to describe the mercados in Lima, Peru: you just died and went to …well, you know.
Kennedy Park: the Cat’s Meow
There are forty-two cats in Lima’s Kennedy Park, one of which is a devote Catholic.
When Life Gives You Lima Beans
This chapter of my life will officially be over. I’m leaving Asia, heading towards Peru.
My Forrest Gump Moment
That’s me in the official promo photo (which is unofficially being posted by me).
Loy Krathong–Let it go!
Today is the day when everyone in Thailand acts like Elsa in the movie Frozen, singing Let it Go. eyelashes. That’s what Loy Krathong is about, letting go of the bad and starting new.
The third time I thought I was going to die.
Planned holidays were being rewritten by Mother Nature and I didn’t approve of her script.
This is where I dropped my phone.
Tour groups in Asia are no different than those at Disney World except you ride a bus instead of the Monorail and have a slight chance of getting an intestinal parasite as a souvenir.
Goodbye Zàijiàn
I’ve never got kicked out of a country before, but let me tell you, it’s a bit more dramatic than getting kicked out of high school chemistry, which happened on a weekly basis.
Nóng jiā lè Farm Restaurants
Colonel Sanders, move over. If you want chicken, visit a Nóng jiā lè 農家樂 or farmhouse restaurant in rural Yunnan.
Dàbiàn 大便(Gotta go)
Where do you go when you gotta go in China? Not here.
Why do I hike?
When I find myself literally at the end of a rope in China, hiking is the ultimate brain eraser. Either I’m concentrating on the beauty or not slipping, totally forgetting that the snack I purchased for my cat was freeze dried baby birds (I will spare you the photo).
Chinese Hospital Food
I have eaten a lot of strange foods in Asia but this week, my tastebuds ventured to a cuisine that the FOOD CHANNEL has yet to try. Chinese Hospital Food.
二三 èr sān (Twenty-three)
Jing Cheng, like many Chinese boys, is dressed head to toe in Michael Jordan apparel, the real deal, not the bootlegs. He has Nikes on his feet, an 二三 sweatband on his wrist, and a red BULLS jersey that he wears every day, even though it is pushing twenty-five years since MJ put on his for the last time in Salt Lake City.
I broke something at a Monastery.
I broke something at the Fuguo Monastery. No, I didn’t have to buy it.
Xbanna
While Xbanna has more temples than Lucky Charms has marshmallow bits, my favorite thing about this lush city is the bird walker park.
My moment in a motivational poster.
I’m no longer in China. I’m in the land of inspirational posters.
Lunch at an International School
only see in the lunchroom of an international school in China.
Masks of 2026
So many things I learned about my students, thanks to a twenty-five cent mask.
I didn’t event this language. I just teach it.
I don’t remember learning grammar. I remember Kathy Lawton throwing up in the fifth grade, Richard Elliot drinking the water in the fish tank, but the rules deciding when to use raise or rise?
Nails
Hopefully, someday, Easter will be restored to a holiday where I can enjoy going to church, biting the heads off chocolate bunnies instead of eating frozen pea-sicles, and thinking about the nails of the crucifixion, not mine.
Takes a Washing, Keeps on Watching
My Huawei phone went through the washer, literally, and it still works!
Tombs and Brittle Bones
It’s sad. Folks spending eternity in a cemetery really are forgotten. We have don’t even have a word for them. We have words for the grounds (cemetery, necropolis, catacombs), words for the urns and burial stones, words for that stupid piece of plastic on the end of your shoelace (aglet), but no word for our collective of loved ones that left us their Hummel collections.
Pink fěn hóng sè 粉红色
In China, who knows what the flavor Pink would be. There are firecracker red hot dogs, black eggs, purple rice, orange mushrooms, green oranges, and clear grain alcohol that can clean your clock. But pink?
Parlez Vous Bank Bot?
Banking from China is ludicrous no matter who you bank with. For starters, you have to get up before Five AM to talk with a human, that is, if you are granted the right to talk.
Best Line Awards
I just don’t know the meaning of the meaning.”
Maus Mouse shǔ 鼠
If your school’s reading scores are in the bottom 33 percentile, you shouldn’t be banning books. Do whatever it takes to get your students to read.
Red Earth hóng tǔ 红土
This is not the place you’d want to be during an earthquake. These old houses are made out of mud brick.
January 5
Hospice is both the most wonderful and hardest endeavor I have ever experienced.
The Line
A week’s worth of Covid Testing in Xishuangbanna. China in order to get a coveted travel certificate.
Lock Down
the only thing that can top earthquake on vacation is a city-wide lockdown for mandatory Covid testing.
Rice 饭 Fàn
his year for Christmas, I travelled to Xishuangbanna, where rice is anything but a bland side dish. There are rice stuffed pineapples, purple sticky rice, speckled rice dumplings wrapped in Bamboo leaves, and rice stuffed bamboo shoots.
Chinese Bird Walkers
Bird walking in China is a popular hobby with men. It’s like car shows. but with songbirds, not T-birds.
Xishuangbanna: The Other Side
I–like everyone else–thought the world would be spinning by now, but no. We are right back where we started, well sort of.
How I worked off my Thanksgiving Dinner
, I was very patriotic this holiday in China. I ate my part. How did I work off those calories so I’d avoid a New Years Resolution of losing a few kilos? I took an after-dinner stroll in the Yunnan countryside.
Local Color
I went to Kunming’s Museum of Contemporary Art this weekend and viewed what I thought was an abstract poodle. While I enjoyed the art, I found the streets just as colorful. This bean lady at the market reminded me of my mom. I really think it was her. She didn’t have her own booth or her own QR code, but […]
Paperwork
Working at an international school, I have been trained for fires, earthquakes. Hostage Takeovers. But what if a student gets stuck in the bathroom? It was photo day and my class was right after the snapping of pictures. Mars’ bow tie was next to the crayons. Albert’s jacket was on the back of his chair. But Yael’s kitty cat ears? […]
fēi bèn飞起 getting high
Unlike video games that give a hit of dopamine, reading will never make you high. It is work but it will take you places you’ve never imagine.
Pīng Pāng Qiú
Lou, like many of the students at an international school, is a SPAMMER, which some call a Third Culture Kid or TCK. I prefer calling them SPAM. They are a mystery found in every country that’s actually a blend of lots of things.
Shangri La Abugi
My guide, who I swear was a reincarnated goat, does the Abugi trail six times a week, hauling snacks of Baozi and hard boiled eggs for the trekkers and a pack of smokes for himself.
Unfinished Posts
I’ve started a lot of posts that I didn’t finish about Kunming. Oh well. Maybe if I post the photos that inspired them, you can write your own endings.
Nǐ chī le ma?” Have you eaten lunch?”
It was the kid’s version of a drug pat down at an international airport. “Do you mind opening up your milk carton?” The command came from Miss Kindermen, my second-grade teacher, her hair spun into a black beehive while my eyes were mesmerized by her psychedelic dress. She looked like she belonged on Laugh-In, not a classroom. Her blue-shadowed eyes […]
Bat Man 蝙蝠 侠: A mask-less hero
the bat (literal translation of 蝙蝠 侠) has caught over six-thousand thieves over the past forty-two years in Kunming, Yunnan, with this home-made spiked club.
Irritable Vowel Syndrome
You know it’s going to be a long day when the rules for the English Speaking Competition are written in Chinese.
Juan by any other name
What’s there to see in Wuhan China? Don’t expect to find a “Covid Memorial”.
An American in Wuhan
Oh yes I did! I have just completed the Covid 19 Triple Dog Dare. I went on a cruise, ate at a buffet and ended up in Wuhan, then lived to blog about it. Actually, it’s not as insane as it sounds. Since I’m “land-locked” in China this summer, I thought I’d finally see the country. It’s not like I’ve […]
Pokes and Probes
So what’s an expat to do when it’s time to get back on the saddle again–wait–I mean back in the stirrups? Make an appointment at Women’s Angel Hospital for a pap smear and mammogram. Considering China makes more babies than any other countries, maybe it’s time we trust them with other female needs.
Chenglish Shore Drive
Some signs should be changed. But changing Lake Shore Drive signage in Chicago? That’s crazier than Chenglish.
Temple Attire
So, just what do you wear to a temple or monastery, even if it’s one for chickens in Shangri La? It depends on if it’s a Buddhist temple, monastery, or the Hundred chicken temple.
Yak and Hack
Does anyone know of a good wine pairing for yak? That’s what you eat in Shangri La. And don’t laugh. Yak is where it’s at. I was referred to this little hole in the wall, a Tibetan version of a blue plate diner. I ordered Diced Yak with noodles and Yak Meat Pie. The crust was amazing. Plus, I had […]
Traditions
In China, you don’t have to go to funerals. The funerals come to you.
Born to be like ginger
In America today, I officially turn into human wallpaper. It’s my birthday, or 生日快乐 shēng rì kuài lè, in Chinese. But no Barbie dolls or pin the tail on the donkey games this year. I turned sixty. The big Six-O. In dog years, I’d be dead. In America, childhoods that pre-date Google means you have become as desirable as panty […]
My Dad’s car was a horse
Somewhere over the years, the quest for knowledge has been replaced with a desire for a better GPA. And whatever their Grade Point Average it isn’t good enough.
Chest Pain Preferred
For less than the cost of your monthly Verizon bill, you can get a colonoscopy in China.
Museum of Me
The plate is just one of the relics that followed me back to China, packed in bubble wrap, between Costco size jars of Nutella and cylinders of Parmesan Cheese.
You Care Too Much
The three words silenced my room: “What the hell?” They weren’t from a junior high student, because the utterance would have been in Chinese. The slip of the tongue was from a second grader. From the same kid who doesn’t know his sight words. I looked at a coworker, who heard it too. While I was thinking about school policies […]
Smoke
There is a famous Chinese proverb: 不到长城非好汉. He who has never been to the Great Wall is not a true man. And after he visits the Great Wall, he picks up a pack of cigarettes. Smoking is huge in this country, even with doctors, including my “no chicken, no OJ, drink broccoli juice” acupuncturist. Before the young doctor light his cigarette, […]
吃货 (chī huò) Foodies
Huǒ guō or hot pot, is to Kunming, China what deep dish pizza is to Chicago. It’s a combination between a meal and a game of Truth or Dare
Never Pick a Cool Name
Bilingual book for Chinese children learning English
Hong Kong
It was over thirty years ago, the term after I broke my back skydiving, and the height of the now forgotten Falkland Island Crisis. My life was in a bit of a crisis, too. I took a break from MSU and studied for a term in London, being mindful to call my parents collect every Sunday assure them I was […]
Go fly a Fengzheng
You think it would be easy. I brought my kite from the USA to China, which sounds as ludicrous as Anheuser Busch importing their own rice to this country to make Budweiser beer. In China, fengzheng flying (pronounced phone-jen) is a serious hobby, where yeyes, (wise grandfathers) rule the skies and teach youngsters the ropes. Or in my case, give advice on how to untangle a three […]
Farmer’s Market
I went to a farmer’s market today in Kunming. It was more colorful than a bag of Skittles. A lot of shoppers rode bikes… including this guy who needed one of those OVERSIZED LOAD signs. My favorite was the rice bike. It’s the Chinese version of the Good Humor truck. Do you want one scoop or two? Or strawberry shortcake? You can […]
A DAY THAT NEVER WAS
It’s funny flying to the flipside. Father Time either swallows a day when you fly west over the international date line, or gives you a day back if you fly east, allowing you to land before you ever left. Well, yesterday, while flying back to China, my mother in law passed away. It was about nine o’clock CST, seven hours after take off, putting […]
Why I got my hair cut.
It was a typical day in China. I was out enjoying the typical Chinese scenery… teaching English at an upscale Equestrian -Golf club outside of Kunming, China. It was the kind of resort where you’d wipe your butt with hundred dollar bills…that is,if they offered toilet paper in their restrooms. Luxurious was an understatement for this resort. Easily five stars, just like […]
Golden, Fushcia and Leopard Print Temple
Monday was the fifteenth day of the new Chinese Year, which is also known as the Lantern Festival. Fireworks are replaced with colorful incense …. and floating lanterns are released in the sky. This caused a colorful block of traffic on my way to school, as I take a short cut thru the Golden Temple (in Kunming, China) to get there. The buses had to wait […]
Chinese Diners and Dives
I did the math. Eight seven thousand five hundred. That’s the number of servings I prepared last year at Jesus People USA, feeding three hundred and fifty funky folks each night, five days a week. That doesn’t include the meals that end up at Uptown shelters or the folks at Tent City. Or the lumpy grits that no one would […]
Oh, crap! 糟糕: Tzao Gao
The biggest difference between countries is not their style of politics but the little things, ATMs, traffic signals, directions on a washing machine, but most important, the rules and expressions for using the toilet. In the land of the free to pee, American public johns are not filled with signs about fines of how to squat or what to plop. […]
The Nightmare Before New Years
There’s only one thing louder than in China than New Year’s. It’s a Chinese Walmart on New Year’s Eve. Instead of fighting over Tickle Me Elmo’s and large screen TVs, shoppers grab for handfuls of prawns. And lucky chicken feet for your hostess. There is a tea tree instead of a Christmas tree. And itchy festive clothes for the children. […]
LIGHTS, SMART PHONE, ACTION!
After a two week course in Western Culture, my students had to create videos about their favorite experiences in Kunming. Final projects have come along way since making dioramas out of shoe boxes and popsicle sticks. So what did I learn? Other than how to upload a video shot on a bootleg Chinese phone onto Google, I learned this: Shut up […]