The plate is just one of the relics that followed me back to China, packed in bubble wrap, between Costco size jars of Nutella and cylinders of Parmesan Cheese.
Museum of Me
You Care Too Much
The three words silenced my room: “What the hell?” They weren’t from a junior high student, because the utterance would have been in Chinese. The slip of the tongue was from a second grader. From the same kid who doesn’t know his sight words. I looked at a coworker, who heard it too. While I was thinking about school policies […]
Smoke
There is a famous Chinese proverb: 不到长城非好汉. He who has never been to the Great Wall is not a true man. And after he visits the Great Wall, he picks up a pack of cigarettes. Smoking is huge in this country, even with doctors, including my “no chicken, no OJ, drink broccoli juice” acupuncturist. Before the young doctor light his cigarette, […]
吃货 (chī huò) Foodies
Huǒ guō or hot pot, is to Kunming, China what deep dish pizza is to Chicago. It’s a combination between a meal and a game of Truth or Dare
Never Pick a Cool Name
Bilingual book for Chinese children learning English
Hearing Found
My problem is not hearing loss but hearing found. An over exaggeration of sounds known as tinnitus-hyperacusis.
The Other Ten Commandments
I am glad that when Moses came down the mountain with two tablets, there wasn’t another set for those of privilege. Thou shall not steal, unless of course, you can afford a good lawyer. Thou shall not commit adultery, unless you are a politician who can afford payoffs. Thou shall keep thy Sabbath holy unless you want to go to […]
Lessons in Doing Nothing
Last night, someone slept through my class. But it wasn’t a student. It was me. Not only did I also slept through my midnight/lunch-time catnap alarm, I slept through three calls from my classroom assistant in China wondering where I was, along with a text from my principal: “Is everything OK?” Well yes and no. My Zoom didn’t turn into […]
What I Did On my Summer Non-Vacation
Am I the only one, or did some of you feel like your vacation sat on the tarmac all summer? Between masks and protests and swabs stuck up our noses to our brains, the summer of 2020 hasn’t been a relaxing holiday.
Dropped Change
Now, the drop-clothes are gone. The BLM murals blend in with the same-o same-o. The homeless melt back into the concrete searching for dropped change.
My 小家 small house
One more caveat: the instructions are in Chinese, including those for the miniature IKEA shelves which are impossible enough to make when you are using a Philips screwdriver, not tweezers and a glue gun.
Twenty Six Letters
I cannot think of one emoji with the impact of a postage stamp or a font as endearing as Leaky Fountain Pen
Signs of the Times
Hopefully, George Floyd will not be forgotten in a few weeks when people go back thumping their Bibles, and care more about the extra ketchup in a supersized meal than the single mother that handed it to them.
Social Distancing Birds
Grand Rapid’s red-wing black bird isn’t a fan of social distancing.
Adverteaching
I’m not a real teacher. I just play one on the internet.
Everything that I know about teaching I learned from advertising.