I did the math. Eight seven thousand five hundred. That’s the number of servings I prepared last year at Jesus People USA, feeding three hundred and fifty funky folks each night, five days a week. That doesn’t include the meals that end up at Uptown shelters or the folks at Tent City. Or the lumpy grits that no one would […]
Chinese Diners and Dives
Oh, crap! 糟糕: Tzao Gao
The biggest difference between countries is not their style of politics but the little things, ATMs, traffic signals, directions on a washing machine, but most important, the rules and expressions for using the toilet. In the land of the free to pee, American public johns are not filled with signs about fines of how to squat or what to plop. […]
The Nightmare Before New Years
There’s only one thing louder than in China than New Year’s. It’s a Chinese Walmart on New Year’s Eve. Instead of fighting over Tickle Me Elmo’s and large screen TVs, shoppers grab for handfuls of prawns. And lucky chicken feet for your hostess. There is a tea tree instead of a Christmas tree. And itchy festive clothes for the children. […]
LIGHTS, SMART PHONE, ACTION!
After a two week course in Western Culture, my students had to create videos about their favorite experiences in Kunming. Final projects have come along way since making dioramas out of shoe boxes and popsicle sticks. So what did I learn? Other than how to upload a video shot on a bootleg Chinese phone onto Google, I learned this: Shut up […]
China’s Got Talent
What could be more adorable than a Chinese five year old dressed up as Curly the cowboy? The one re-enacting a dinosaur battle. It was the Chine Speaks English competition in Kunming, and I got to be a judge for the shortie division ( four to eight year-olds). Participants were judged on their ability to speak English, not if they could comprehend […]
Cool Adventure
Hip. Swag. Dope. Just some of the American slang my Chinese students discussed when the topic du jour was the word, “cool”. I ended the lesson discussing another idiom for cool, “freaking freezing!” It was the only way to describe the splizzardy weather in the city of Eternal Springs, where snow siting is as rare as seeing a M?iguórén bundled up in a […]
Putting your best 脚 jiǎo forward.
At first, it just felt like a pebble in my shoe. No big deal. But then suddenly, out of nowhere, try it felt like an abscessed tooth migrated to the ball of my foot. Ouch! Now I understand why they shoot horses. It’s something called Morton’s Neuroma, a thickening of the skin around a nerve between two toes, common in […]
Get your Zao on!
Most people complain about their morning commute to work. Not me. My forty minute walk to work is like jumping into a Dr. Suess book. But replace the Cat in the Hat with Kung Fu Panda wannabes and the puff balls of Who-ville with beautiful gardens of the World Horticultural Expo in Kunming. And oh yes, replace saying G’morning with […]
Chinese Whippersnappers
It sounded like gunfire but it couldn’t be. I wasn’t in Chicago, I was in China. The sound was coming from across the street, not in an alley with gang bangers but a group of old men spinning their tops, an activity they call tuó?luó, pronounced tow-ah-low-ah. ?? These guys crack a whip at an old school over sized top, […]
Shruāng is wrong!
Shu?ng ? , or frost, is my Mandarin word for the day. It rhymes with “wrong”. And that’s exactly how it looked covering all the flowers on my walk through the Kunming Horticultural Expo this morning on my way to school. Coming up with goofy sentences is my approach to learning new vocab. And that giant monkey you see near […]