When my husband and I got off the plane and landed in Kunming, China in 2010, we did not know what to expect. We were met by the only two other white people in the airport at 3 am in the morning. They loaded our two hundred pounds of life into their tinny van (that priceless booty consisted of […]
Hey—what happened to China?
When Life Gives You Buttbeans
Copi Luwak or butt bean coffee seemed like the perfect way to drown my sorrows on that anything but Good Friday.
What 70 元 buys
So, I spent 70元 pronounced quai (just over ten bucks) at the grocery store today in Kunming. So exactly did I fill my bag with? First, the shopping bag (it was an unplanned trip). Cost: 1 元RMB 6.67 cents Next, Flower flavor yogurt. Buy three, get one […]
And So the Red Tape Rolls
I have a legendary story about how I got my first job in advertising. I wrote a letter seeking advice regarding what to do with foam rubber sumo wrestler. I hoped that my letter–or at least picture of this monstrosity– would lead to an interview. It didn’t. The letter lead to a job offer at an agency bigger than wrestler’s […]
Sharpies
It was like cleaning out a junk drawer before a move. It was the last few boxes of our storage unit containing the remains of our marriage. But instead of rubber band balls and expired coupons, it contained fragments of my life that I could not part with or bring with me to China. Diaries. My grandmother’s China. My purple […]
Beijing One Layover at a Time
Once in college, I took a weekend road trip to Wichita. Friends and I drove seventeen hours each way and back. Thanks to a few super chugs of coffee, managed to stay awake both driving and during the Monday morning class. But I can’t do those marathon trips anymore –even when flying to China. I mean, you can’t stop anywhere […]
Thank you, TSA
If security opens your box, do they have tape for you to re-tape it? The answer is yes. But I have to ask, who inspects the work of the TSA? I thought my belongings were gnawed at by a group of hamsters. Items were squirting out of the sides of the box like excess jelly on a P&J. […]
What the F@#K say?
Yeah! Yesterday was my last day of school. Make that YaWei. It was year to be remembered for many reasons, a lot of classes spinning out of control, making me wonder if I made a difference with the spinners, those born in the Chinese Year of the Entitled Child. But YaWei, my youngest student, helped me put things in perspective. […]
Leaping Tiger Gorgeous
Every now and then, it’s good to risk your life. Yes, a few friends and I braved Tiger Leaping Gorge near Lijiang, Yunnan and didn’t even get a “I risked my life and all i got was this lousy T-shirt”. The only view more stunning than the gorge when I jumped out of a plane in college and ended up […]
Meet the new voice for Jin Bo Cable
OK. I admit. I’m not I’m not part of SAG but I just recorded an emergency cable car announcement for the Jin Bo Cable company. It’s not cable as in Direct TV, but as cable as in cable cars. It’s located directly across from the school I work at in Kunming, China and they wanted an English voice over for […]