The Nightmare Before New Years

MenShoppers

There’s only one thing louder than in China than New Year’s.

It’s a Chinese Walmart on New Year’s Eve.

Instead of fighting over Tickle Me Elmo’s and large screen TVs,  shoppers grab for handfuls of prawns.

WalmartShrimpPileChina

And lucky chicken feet for your hostess.

WalmartChickenFeetPile

There is a tea tree instead of a Christmas tree.

TeaTree

And itchy festive clothes for the children.

RedHolidayClothes

And instead of fruitcake and cheese balls, there is dried pig face.

PigFace

and individually wrapped duck tongues.

DriedDuckTongueTreats

Plus rice!

riceBins

If you were born in the year of the monkey, you’re supposed to wear red lucky underwear all year.

LuckyUnderwear

And everyone is supposed to have a lucky cat in their home.

AuspiciousCats

And auspicious Chinese characters near their front door.

GreatWallofLuck

Plus monkey booze.

MonkeyBooze

Or panda brandy.

PandaBooze

But is you’re wise, you’ll avoid the toilet paper without the toilet roll. Off brands can give you an infection where the sun doesn’t shine.

UnluckyToiletPaper

And you’ll avoid the eggs without cartons  (too easy to break).

EggBaskets

And just in case you get lucky (thanks to your luck cat, red underwear and Chinese door hangings), there’s the grab and go Condom section on the escalator ride.

But the best part? Getting the heck out of there!

ChineseWalmartNewYear

2 comments to “The Nightmare Before New Years”
    • Thanks. I wish I could take a picture about the smells. Nothin’ can compare to a shopping cart loaded with durian, fresh kimche and dried fish!

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