Sometimes I think I’m a solo traveler and other times I’m convinced I’m a roaming confessional. When people see me slurping noodles by myself, they are attracted to me like a guilty soul to a curtained booth. They spill their guts then board their next train with a clean conscious. Take for instance, Travis the Fake ID courier. (It’s a […]
Unknown Tourist, I have Sinned.
What to do if you get a bladder infection in the middle of nowhere
My gut is immune to most bugs in Asia, those I eat as well as those that are festering in a piece of pork. But I did get a bladder infection on the road. Or off the beaten path Actually, in the middle of nowhere, Ayutthaya, Thailand, the ancient capital of Thailand. If I had been in Bangkok, things would […]
My favorite animal is vegetables and Jesus
It’s that time of year again. The China Daily English Speaking Competition . In 八 (eight) hours, I break or make the day of over 150 六 (six) – 十二 (ttwelve)-year-olds, many whom are dressed to the 久s (nines), and have memorized speeches that they have no clue of what they are saying. Take for instance, this princess who’s […]
Why I’m thankful for Donald, Angels in Khakis and Librarians.
As the green Jell-O melts at the Thanksgiving table, your father-in-law mutters an updated version of the prayer he said last year. It includes family members, a line about world peace, a reiteration of the poem about the footprints in the sand, gratitude for Costco for having pumpkin pies on sale. But as you secretly wish he’d hurry up so […]
Biggy
He was the only person I knew who was still fat after gastric bypass surgery but managed to hide it in his profile photo. He was from a different chapter in my life, from my years in urban youth ministry in Chicago, chapters before dealing with kids who can’t tell a mouth from a mouse in China, but kids who’d […]
When Spice Isn’t
After living in Kunming China for eight years, I have built up a tolerance for what’s spicy. Not just the far-side foods, either, but the spice of life. The nine-year-old selling liquor in his parent’s store? At least he can see over the counter. Old women recylcers with huge bundles strapped to their backs? Walk faster! Freshly slaughtered carcasses hanging […]
Year of the Entitled Attitude
“So Ginger, do you want to come over for game night? We’re playing Secret Hitler.” I rubbed my eyes. “I think I’ve been playing it all day.” Don’t go off the deep end. My book club friends are also into high strategy board games, the kind that require you to watch a You-Tube Video before rolling the dice. In Secret […]
HANOI: WHAT TRAVEL GUIDES DON’T TELL YOU
In any Ma and Pa shop in Hanoi, you’ll find a shrine with tangles of incense and offerings of cigarettes, beer and moon pies. It’s the Vietnamese way of taking care of their loved ones in the after life. I hope Anthony Bordain is one of those spirits as he loved this town. I say a prayer hoping he’ll […]
No pictures allowed
It’s a scene out of a Microsoft commercial. Divorced woman in the jungles of Vietnam approving a rental applicant for her condo in Wrigleyville, Chicago. Nice kid. Right out of school. Job at some tech firm. No credit record yet as he hasn’t used his credit cards. No record of him anywhere, not even on Facebook, which has sadly become […]
Chinese Hooterville
I didn’t think a town could get much smaller than where I grew up in Southwestern Michigan, a town nicknamed Hooterville. I especially didn’t think I could find one in a country known for big. Chinese Hooterville is about two hours outside of Kunming, just past the Stone Forest of Shilin in Yunnan. No Shady Rest Hotel or Eddie […]